#9: 3 Things that Hold You Back in Life and Business
Today I’m sharing three things that hold you back in life or business. Wherever you're feeling a little stuck or wondering why you're not moving forward, I'm going to share three things that I see with clients that are big, recurring themes of why people stay stuck and what holds them back.
I'm going to share an example of the thing that holds you back, and then I'll also share a tool that you can use along with a reprogramming action step. It will be something that you can do in the moment to help yourself reprogram whatever it is that you're going through and however it's keeping you stuck.
Things That Hold You Back #1 – Planning Too Far in Advance
The first thing that can hold you back is planning too far in advance. At first, this might not seem obvious, but it's something I've noticed that can significantly hinder progress. When you plan too far ahead, it removes you from the present moment and can make tasks feel overwhelming if you're focusing on a goal a year away instead of one that's just a couple of weeks out. It brings a different energy.
What we often don't realize is that while we're focused on a short-term task or goal, we start thinking, "What if XYZ happens?" We get caught up in trying to connect it to that long-term goal. This focus on the future prevents us from taking necessary actions in the present because we're too worried about future outcomes. Before you know it, months pass, and you're nowhere near your goal.
This problem is sneaky because you might be taking small steps that seem forward-thinking but aren't aligned with the significant actions needed to reach your goal. For example, if you want to host an event, like my decision-making workshop, you might find yourself thinking about how it could lead to more opportunities or courses. When you focus on these potential outcomes instead of the current task, you lose momentum on what’s right in front of you. You may start networking or seeking speaking opportunities rather than concentrating on executing the event.
For instance, when planning my workshop, I could have gotten sidetracked by focusing on potential future speaking engagements rather than dedicating time to the workshop itself. If I worried too much about possible outcomes or whether people would sign up, I wouldn't have put in the effort necessary for the workshop to succeed. If no one signs up, what's the worst that happens? You have a practice run, and you adjust for next time.
A useful tool to avoid this pitfall is to be clear and concise with your planning. Use a calendar or planner, define your goal, and work backward. Outline the necessary milestones as your template to move forward. Always assume tasks will take longer than expected, so leave room in your calendar. Focus on the next immediate goal, such as organizing the workshop, before worrying about anything else.
For a reprogramming action: whenever you catch yourself being distracted from the goal right in front of you, remind yourself that it's not the time for other things. Set aside longer-term goals until you complete your current task. This practice helps you stay focused and reach the goal that's directly ahead.
This advice applies to any area, whether personal or professional. If you have a goal like running a marathon, you need a training program. Focus on your current stage of training rather than the entire marathon. It's about concentrating on the immediate next step.
Pay attention to your planning process. If planning too far in advance is holding you back, refocus on the now to help you achieve your current goals.
Things That Hold You Back #2 – Comparing Yourself to Others
The second thing that can hold you back is comparing yourself to others. You've likely seen it around and maybe experienced it yourself. When you compare, you diminish your own value and unique gifts. This can keep you caught in a cycle of blame and stuck in a victim mindset.
Focusing on what others are doing well becomes a fast track to diminishing your self-worth. It's important to remember that you don't know what others are going through. It’s like Instagram—you're seeing the highlight reel but not the behind-the-scenes.
Making assumptions that leave you feeling worse about yourself doesn't help. Logically, we know this, yet it's easy to fall into these cycles. So, if this is something you struggle with, find a way to address it.
One tool I recommend is writing out a list of your strengths and values. Read this list to yourself daily, even multiple times a day if needed. Connect deeply with your strengths, embrace your unique value, and let that be your guidepost instead of looking to others.
In terms of a reprogramming action, whenever you catch yourself comparing, stop immediately. Say something kind about yourself. It might also help to reread your list, refocusing on your own strengths and value. The comparison isn’t really about the other person; it often sends you into a shame spiral, leaving you feeling bad about yourself. When you feel this way, you tend to stay stuck.
The key is to catch yourself and affirm something kind about yourself to build those kindness muscles. Cultivate an internal awareness of your strengths and value, and truly embrace them. Be especially mindful of how easy it is to get wrapped up in comparison with today's technology and social media.
This is the second thing that can hold you back: comparing to others. It’s an easy trap, especially with social media's influence, so remain aware and work through it.
Things That Hold You Back #3 – Staying Small
The third thing that can hold you back is staying small, which is often tied to fear. It might be fear of what others think, doubting you're good enough, or anticipated negative outcomes. Ultimately, these fears trap you in a life that doesn't reflect your highest expression, keeping you from achieving your dreams. Consider how fear holds you back and question how you're currently staying small. You may worry about others' reactions or fear failure.
Remember, initial attempts often don't succeed; they require perseverance. Many who seem like overnight successes have been committed to their paths for years. Fear of response or judgment shouldn't prevent you from acting. People will move on if they don't care, and your highest potential awaits beyond this hesitation.
To transform this, affirmations are an effective tool. Positive statements can solidify new, empowering beliefs. Develop a list of affirmations and repeat them, perhaps as you start or end your day. Some find it helpful to place these affirmations on mirrors as daily reminders. Focus on affirmations that nurture self-love, provide support, and amplify your unique strengths.
As a reprogramming action, deepen these affirmations into a personal mantra for moments of fear. Statements like "I can do this," "I tackle challenges head-on," or "I am knowledgeable" can help. Adjust these affirmations based on your current fears or needs; they can evolve over time.
Ultimately, everyone can benefit from a mantra like "I love myself." Embracing self-love is vital because we tend to be our harshest critics. This podcast's aim is to foster more self-love, not less. So, find a mantra that resonates with you and employ it to overcome feelings of smallness or fear about taking action or being visible. This approach helps you dismantle barriers to your growth and expression, encouraging you not to shy away from challenges or new opportunities.
Conclusion on 3 Ways to Reconnect and Embrace the Present Moment
These are the three common ways that people often hold themselves back. You may resonate with one more than another. I invite you to explore them, get curious, and see which one you might want to become more aware of in your life. If you feel like you're experiencing one of these, what does it look like for you? How can you use one of the tools or reprogramming actions to really do something differently?
Reprogramming beliefs and negative thoughts is also really important, and these actions tie into that. To help yourself get unstuck, find what works for you by experimenting with these reprogramming actions. Try to catch yourself in the moment of what’s keeping you where you are. Decide how you can move through it—whether it's refocusing on a current goal, stopping comparisons by complimenting yourself, or overcoming hesitation with a mantra.
The more you bring awareness to these habits, the stronger and faster you’ll move through them. While these challenges might still linger, being aware enables you to handle them differently, reducing their impact on your life. Remember, reprogramming involves recognizing and changing these thoughts in the moment. It’s just one easy step among many possibilities. Catch yourself, redirect your thoughts, and repeat.
I encourage you to take this information, try it, and see how it transforms your experience. As always, take what resonates with you and leave the rest. Thank you so much for being here today.
Episode Homework:
Explore Self-awareness: Identify which of the three common ways you hold yourself back resonates with you.
Experiment with Tools: Use different tools and reprogramming actions to bring about change.
Moment Awareness: Catch yourself in the moment when a negative habit arises.
Reprogram Thoughts: Redirect your focus by refocusing on your current goal, avoiding comparisons, or using a mantra.
Repeat This Process: Continuously practice this awareness and thought adjustments.
Resources mentioned:
Do you want to learn more about your unique decision making style? Instead of being overwhelmed and stressed out, learn how to make decisions with ease and confidence in a way that works specifically for YOU. You’re invited to join us at the decision making workshop.
You can check out the Decision Making Workshop and register here.
If you’d like to connect further about unlocking the next step in your personal development journey, please feel free to reach out. I'm on LinkedIn and Instagram. I'm also on Voxer at @MaryClavieres.
If you want support with where you are right now, I'd be honored to work with you. You’re invited to check out my Human Design readings so that you can learn more about your own energy and how you operate. This tool is a powerful building block that will allow you to live life with less stress and more peace.
I really appreciate you. I appreciate you being here. If you found this helpful in some way, please feel free to share it with a friend or a loved one. You can leave a rating or review. It helps the podcast to be seen by more people and I so, so appreciate you being here. Thank you so much for listening and have a great rest of your day. I'll talk to you next week.
Previous Podcast Episodes to Listen to:
3 Simple Ways to Reconnect and Embrace the Present Moment
How to Get Different Results in Life & Business Using the Results Pyramid
How Small Steps Lead to Big Changes
How to Overcome the Fear of Making Decisions
The Easiest Way to Practice Gratitude in One Minute a Day
