#86: How to Live With Less Stress and More Peace
Learning how to live with less stress and more peace is an important life skill that will support you for years to come. There are many modalities and approaches to living live with less stress and more peace. In this episode, you will learn how to live life with less stress and more peace in order to move about the world in a way that is most aligned for you.
Living a life with stress is detrimental to your nervous system and it will cause you to make decisions and build relationships from a place of lack. Stress can impact your sleep, eating patterns, digestive system and so much more. When you learn how to manage your stress levels and take care of yourself, you’ll be able to live with less stress and more peace. This will allow you to be more in alignment and live a life that is fuller, richer and more meaningful to you.
Today, I want to talk about the relationship with stress, and how you can approach having less stress in your life and having a stronger relationship with yourself. This is something that I've been studying for quite a few years. I've had my own experiences with stress, how stress shows up in the body, and how it impacts our brain. It's a complicated relationship so if you're someone that finds situations and circumstances stressful or you have anxiety, I'm going to share one of the ways that you may be able to find some relief. This will help you to be more connected and feel stronger within yourself.
Stress primarily is a low expression. It's a negative expression of ourselves. It is something that comes to us when we are not feeling ourselves and when we're feeling disconnected from ourselves. We can attach to things that create more worry and allow our brain to repeat endless negative thought loops. We sometimes allow that to take control of how we operate, and how we make decisions, how we move through the world.
There are many outside factors that can contribute to this. People feel stressed from different things including family situations, work, the current state of the world, the earth, and anything else you can think of. There are a lot of things these days to be stressed about so it’s important to explore what is in your control.
What can you control?
What is not within your control?
You can see if you can shift your relationship with what you can control so you’re able to dim some of the stress and feel more like your true self. I’ve had a lot of clients ask me about how they can reduce stress, especially related to work, so that they can live with more peace and ease.
I believe that the human experience is about feeling all of the emotions you can't feel, the highs without the lows and vice versa, but it's really about what are the things that you can do to take care of yourself so that you're not constantly walking around in a state of stress and in a state of having an activated nervous system.
When we have an activated nervous system and we feel like we are in flight, fight or freeze mode, then we're more likely to be centered. It's not even that we're not likely. It's that we're not centered. We're activated, and we're fearful about something and under pressure about it.
How to Live With Less Stress and More Peace by Getting into Your Body
The key to be able to reduce stress and live with more peace is connecting to your body. The more that each of us individually connect to our own bodies and get centered within ourselves, the more we can work from a place of groundedness, from a place that is assured and confident in who we are, where we're going, what we're doing, versus being stressed out and worried about everything.
What do I mean by getting more into your body?
I say that because there is the mind body connection, which you have probably heard me talk about on this podcast before. The mind body connection is something that is happening all the time for you. Your mind and your body are talking and working together, whether you realize it or not, and a lot of times we're letting the mind run the show. What we really need to have happen is allow our body to be more in control. Let our body tell us what's happening, and work with that relationship. Instead of letting our mind drown out everything else.
An Example of How Stress Showed Up in My Body
I'll give you an example which example of how this has shown up in my own life. When I still had my corporate job back in 2018, I was traveling a lot and both my girls were very young at the time. They were under five and I was traveling. I was gone almost every week. I was trying to run my product business at the time, Brief Transitions, on the side, and it was a lot. It was not sustainable anymore. I knew it wasn't sustainable, but I kept going, and I kept going, and I kept pushing myself. And so, what happened?
One day, I woke up and all of my teeth felt like they were going to fall out. And I thought, what is happening?! I called the dentist and I made an emergency dental appointment because I was in so much pain. I literally ran to the bathroom mirror to check if my teeth were all there.
When I got to the dentist, he said that I had signs of grinding my teeth. Grinding is something that people usually do when they're under a lot of stress or under a lot of pressure. Based on my hectic schedule, I definitely related to being under a lot of stress. He gave me a mouth guard to use at night and slowly the pain subsided.
That experience was the first time that I so strongly understood the mind body connection, and that my body was trying to tell me that this is not sustainable anymore. It was telling me that I have to choose to do something different, because if I didn’t, I was going down this path, and maybe my would start to crack or eventually loosen or fall out because I wasn’t paying attention.
I started paying attention to my body.
My point of telling you this story is that when you have these kinds of things showing up in your body, when you're under stress, these things will happen. If they're not happening right now, but you're still under stress, they will eventually happen if you don't take care of yourself.
Putting Yourself First in Order to Live With Less Stress and More Peace
Taking care of yourself is very important, and that's not something that I used to be any good at doing, because I always put myself last.
Surprise, surprise, you have to put yourself first. That's how all of this works. I realized at that point that my body was telling me something. This is not sustainable. I need a new path forward. I eventually left my corporate job to work on Brief Transitions full time, and here we are today.
You will have your own experiences with stress and your mind body connection. You can probably recall some of your own stories around your mind and body and how they speak together. It’s a question of, are you paying attention to it, and are you noticing it or not?
Stress is something that's here. We all have it happening in our lives. The question is, what do you do about it? The thing that I always come back to as the main thing that you can do about it is connect more to your body and listen to what your body is telling you.
Do you need to rest one day?
How do you take care of yourself?
Do you take breaks?
Do you try to keep pushing?
Do you practice mindfulness?
I'm not saying go sit in a room, in a dark room and meditate for 30 minutes. I'm saying, do you take a pause? Do you do you take five minutes to breathe, or to breathe consciously, or to go for a walk or something else that feels nourishing for you? Or do you exercise?
There are a lot of different ways that it could look for different people. I know I've shared examples here quite a few times. I take walks in nature almost every day to get outside and see the sun even if it's for five minutes. Sometimes I literally open the back door, stand outside, close my eyes, and look up and I let the sun just hit my face.
It makes such a difference just to breathe the fresh air for a few minutes. And normally, when we're under a lot of stress, that's the last thing we want to do. The last thing we want to do is force ourselves to do something that will help us feel good. But when you force yourself to do it, it does help in the long term.
Examples of How to Live With Less Stress and More Peace
Take it Day by Day: I always say that you have to do what works for you. You have to find the things that work for you. Also, if you're really not up for it, and you can't get out of bed, okay, you can't get out of bed. Don’t force yourself. Rather, ask yourself, when can you get out of bed? Then take those five minutes when you get out of bed to do something that will be nourishing and supportive to you. As you keep doing these things, it will improve your mind body connection, and that will improve your relationship with stress.
Therapy: There are other things you can do to reduce stress and live with peace. I'm a big supporter of therapy. For example, I personally like a holistic approach to healing and to taking care of the self. I like cognitive behavioral therapy, which is more in the reframing of the negative thought loops and patterns. I also love somatic therapy, which is body exercises and body movement. I love taking all these different modalities and bringing them together so that you can have different tools in your toolkit for whenever you need them.
The strongest way that I can share with you to be able to reduce stress is to awaken your mind body connection. It's to pay attention to what your brain is telling you. Pay attention to what your body is telling you, and learn how to reprogram. Learn how to get more into your body and say, Hey, what do I really need in this minute?
Body Scan: It could be that you take a pause and you do a quick body scan. How does your body feel? Go from head to toe and just check in. Check in with your head, with your forehead, with your eyes, with your nose, with your ears, go all the way down your body, and just check in with each body part and see if anything is feeling tight. Do you need to stretch? Do you need to stand up, dance or walk?
Even in those little ways of listening to yourself you gain trust with yourself and an understanding of your body. This ripples out to everything else in your life.
If you can't tell already, I'm a I'm a big supporter of mind body connection and really using that and listening to your body as a way to help you to reduce stress.
There are other things around stress, in terms of boundaries and putting up boundaries. I'll probably do a whole other episode on that, but there are ways that you take care of yourself and your relationships with others.
I’m inviting you to get curious and start to pay attention to your body. The first thing to do would really be to start to observe.
Observe.
How are you feeling?
Are you feeling tired?
Are you feeling energetic?
Are you feeling tense?
Are you feeling shaky and or queasy, or nervous?
Pay attention to how you feel. Observe it, and then start to check in and say, what do I need in this moment? Focus on only that moment. Don't focus on a week from now, a month from now, or a year from now. Just focus on that moment. What do you need in that moment?
My therapist once told me, anxiety loves questions. Anxiety will stay on loops of questions and questions and questions so that you don't get anywhere. And what I'm reminding you and sharing that with you is that it’s best to focus on just the present moment and what do you need right now. You don't have to worry about any of the other stuff. The only moment you actually have is right now, right so it's it's a matter of checking in, connecting to that and listening to it for what's happening to you right now. Over time, you will build that relationship with yourself. You will build a stronger relationship and stronger trust, and you'll be able to see it more, and you'll be able to manage your stress differently than how you're managing it right now. It takes time. It takes effort. It takes energy. I'm not doubting those things, and I understand, and people will say, but Mary, I don't have time for this, or I have to go do that and this and that, and I understand. It's really hard. Sometimes it can be really, really hard to take the time for yourself and try it. Try to do that where you can. There's no scorecard. No one is telling you, okay, if you do it this day and you don't do the next day, you fail. You don't have to bring out your perfectionist tendencies here with this. This is really about what can you do in this moment?
Each moment is a new moment and allow yourself the space, allow yourself the grace to navigate it and to find a new way for yourself that feels good to you.
Conclusion
I'm really passionate about how to live with less stress and more peace. I’m fascinated by the mind body connection. It's very important to me. I feel it deeply in my bones. It's something that I myself have navigated a lot. I've supported other people on navigating.
It's really important to understand how to reduce stress for living day to day life. The more that you can awaken yourself to your mind body connection, the easier you’ll be able to check in with yourself and manage your stress.
A tool that I love to use with this is Human Design. If you've been here listening to this podcast for a while, you know that I love Human Design. I am certified in doing Human Design readings. So if you're interested in learning more about you your energetic blueprint, how you best make decisions, and ways that you can manage some of this stress, then I invite you to book a reading. There are different tools that will work better for you based on your design.
Wherever you are in your journey, I'm happy to meet you there. I will be here for whenever you feel ready to take your next step with support.
Your homework for today is to start observing your mind body connection. Start observing where you feel stress, and start checking in with your body to see what your body is telling you. I'm sure if I had been checking in with my body beforehand, I wouldn't have gotten to the point where I was grinding my teeth. And even if I did, it probably wouldn't have been so severe because I would have been taking care of myself. You have to check in with yourself and see how can you start to incorporate some things to take care of yourself.
Do not leave yourself behind. Do not put yourself last, please. None of us can afford to do that. This is your life to live. Please put yourself first and take care of yourself. That's my little love note to you today.
I hope this episode was helpful for you in some way, for where you are right now. It's an important step if you're looking to make changes in your life.
If you’d like to connect further about learning how to live with less stress and more peace or something else related to your personal development journey, please feel free to reach out. I'm on LinkedIn and Instagram. I'm also on Voxer at @MaryClavieres.
If you want support with where you are right now, I'd be honored to work with you. You’re invited to check out my Human Design readings so that you can learn more about your own energy and how you operate. This tool is a powerful building block that will allow you to live life with less stress and more peace. From there, you can also learn about Voxer coaching, which is great for people that are on the go and want real time, customized support and guidance. It’s about meeting you where you are right now and what you're going through. You can message me on Voxer (@ maryclavieres) if you’d like to chat or if you have any questions.
Thank you so much for being here. I so appreciate your time and your presence, spending it here with me, and I'll speak to you next week.
Other Episodes You May Enjoy:
#77: The Secret to Finding Yourself Again
#79: You Are Where You Need to Be
#82: 3 Easy Ways to Love Yourself a Little More Every Day
#80: 3 Life Lessons from a Human Design Projector
#84: What is Self Responsibility
#85: How to Protect Your Energy Amid Chaos with Elizabeth Guilbeault
