#60: A 7-Step Framework for Living an Aligned Life
On this week’s episode I’m sharing the 7 step framework that I use to make big changes, find more alignment, and take focused action - for myself and my clients. It’s simple and effective
You’ll learn about:
How to recognize patterns and what your mind is telling you
Body exercises to shift your energy
Creating from a centered, grounded place
How to create a tangible plan to reach your goals
And so much more
Showing up for yourself is what matters most and that’s exactly what you’re doing here. Thank you for being a part of this community.
Links Mentioned in This Episode:
If you’d like to work on this process in a deeper way, I invite you to my upcoming 16 week group experience. Learn more here.
Want to take a 7 day journey with this framework? Sign up for the free email series here.
If you enjoy this podcast, please comment, share, or tag us on your socials #changefromwithinpod
Episode Transcript
Hello, and welcome to change from within. I'm your host, Mary Clavieres. This podcast is here to help you uncover your unique path to living your most aligned life. I'm really, really excited for today's episode, because it's something that I've been using in my own life that I'm really excited to share with you, in case it can help you and support you in your life. Now, what does that mean? It means that I want to share a framework with you today. That is something that you can use as an approach to getting through a certain problem to achieving a specific goal that you want to making a change in your life that you really want to make. If you're listening to this podcast already, I'm sure you have something deep down in you that you want to change something more that you want to achieve, or explore or experience in ways that only you can. And I want to share this framework with you, as a way to help you realize that and go after achieving it or experiencing it in the way that only you can. So thank you so much for being here.
Prerequisites - 3 Things to Keep in Mind
Alright, let's get into the framework. Before we start with steps, right, because there's always steps to these kinds of things. But the thing before starting with that is that there are a few prerequisites. And prerequisites just means things that I highly recommend in terms of your mindset, if this is a journey that you want to embark on, if you really want to make a specific change in your life, if you want to start a new business, or change jobs, or approach your parenting in a different way, or have a certain experience traveled to a certain place, whatever it may be, the first thing that I'd like you to do is really look at how you prepare for it. So putting yourself first in this process. I mean, that's a lot of what this podcast is about too, because it's really about you finding your unique path. So you are the most important piece of that. So putting yourself first and making time for yourself with all of this, okay, even if it's only snippets to start, it doesn't matter. All the time that you spend on your own to really work through this is very important. Okay.
The second thing is not worrying about what others think a lot of the times we can be worried about what other people may think or say, or how they might react to something that we're doing. And really, whatever you're doing is your choice. And it's I mean, it's none of their business, first of all. But second, it's really that you just have to turn off the caring about it, you have to turn off the worrying about it. Okay? There's times I'm not saying ignore everyone in your family, and you know, all those kinds of things disappear and do your thing and then not care about it. No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying block out the noise from other people really allow yourself to go on this path, in your own way to really go after whatever it is that you want to change or that you want to achieve. I follow Sara Blakely, she's the founder of Spanx. If you've been around for a while, you know, I love her because well, she was part of my inspiration, even when I started my product, business brief transitions. And she always said that, when you first have a new idea, don't share it with anybody. Because ideas are so fragile. And the minute you tell it to someone else, it can change things, someone may, you know, intentionally or unintentionally, squash it, or make a remark that doesn't make you feel good about it. And then that impacts how you look at it. So she said to keep your ideas close, especially in the beginning. So it's a similar kind of concept here that you don't have to tell people about what you're doing. And really, if if you think that's going to help you to then not worry about what they think because they won't even know. But it's up to you.
The third piece of it is coming here with curiosity, and an open heart and an open mind. The things that we may think we need to do in order to change might not be the things that we need to do. So be open to new experiences, trying new things, because really, at the end of the day, if you want to make a change, you have to actually do something different. Right? This is not Groundhog Day here. Okay. All right. So then I want to share this framework with you. And my hope is that you walk away from this episode with an understanding and a way to take more action with whatever it is that you're working on. I'm also doing an email series around this. So if you want more details, I'll put a link in the show notes, you can also access the email series there and sign up to, to get daily reminders about this process.
Identify What You Want
In the meantime, so the first thing is identifying what you want. So what is the thing that you want to change? What is the thing that you want to have that's different from what you have right now, maybe something in your life, it may be a certain, again, goal that you want to achieve or something you want to experience. It could be career related, it could be family, or relationship related, it could just be something on your bucket list that you didn't think was really possible. And now there's an inkling that this is the time to explore it. Any and all of those are on the table. So it's first identifying what is that thing that you want, that you don't have right now, take time to really dream about this, to really feel into it, you may have a list of a bunch of things, you may brainstorm a bunch of different things, and then choose one from all that that feels most pressing most important, most special to you so that you can work on that one in this process. Okay, so this is about choosing one of those.
What is your mind telling you?
And then looking at, what are the reasons that you think you don't have this yet? What is your mind telling you? What are the patterns that you have? What are the things that you tell yourself, I tell my daughters all the time, the mind likes to play tricks on you, that's its job, its job is to keep you safe. And so part of keeping you safe, is also tricking you into things that keep you safe. So it could be that your mind is telling you that something's not possible, or you don't deserve it, or you're not worthy, or, you know, whatever. The case may be that it can show up for you to say Who am I like? How could I ever even get that? What am I thinking? You know, all of those, all those fun things? Oh, that's other people can have that. But I can't have that. All that kind of good stuff. It can be a little it's, it's a little uncomfortable to sit with. But really try to sit with it and see what are all those reasons, what are the things that pop up into your head. And chances are, when I first even said it, you probably had a go to, that was something that is something you tell yourself a lot, we all have loops, we all have patterns that keep replaying in our lives. So this is about listening out all those reasons. And, and then identifying the patterns. There's also some, you know, some other ones are things like not having enough time or not having the investment or other things. And I'm not saying that any of these happen overnight, I'm not selling you some kind of magic pill to say, Oh, just do this. And this will happen. It's not about that this is a process. It's about incremental change over time. But I'm giving you a framework so that you can hopefully look at it in a different way and approach it from a different way than you have in the past. So part of that is looking at what your brain is telling you looking at what are those thoughts that loop around in your mind over and over again, that are holding you back? All right. So write all of those down, identify what all of those are, and so that you can really see them and hear them and notice them. It's not about erasing them or shoving them down and saying that, Oh, well, this. It's bad that I think of this. So I'm just not going to think about it anymore. That that does not work. The mind is always there. We're always going to have versions of chatter. It's about reframing and breaking those patterns. But the first part is even seeing what they say. Right? What is your mind telling you right now?
What is your body telling you?
All right, the next piece is getting out of your mind and into your body. What does this mean? On a practical level, it means doing movement and exercises and other things that will get you to understand and listen to your body more and get you out of the mind spinning and the patterns and everything that's in your head. Okay. Our bodies are incredibly powerful. In case you didn't know that already. You probably know but if you think back to, I mean, you can see it in so many different parts of your life probably but our bodies are always talking to us. They're always telling us things. A lot of times you can see how stress manifests in the body because something is not in alignment. So then you're looking at okay, what is my body telling me right now I've had I've had many experience is like that, at the beginning of COVID, I broke out in a full body rash all over my body, I still have a little scar from it. And I went to the doctor and they said, Yeah, this is most likely from stress. And obviously, who wasn't stressed at the beginning of COVID. That was a lot of us. But really, it was my body responding. Right. So then I had to pay attention to that more if I wanted to change anything. So something that I do now is I do a lot of body work, I do a lot of body practices, I do something called Donjon. Tapping, and I'll put a link to a little, there's like a five minute YouTube video where you can, you can try it out yourself. It's something that I do to circulate the energy in my body. So there's a South Korean author named Ilchi Lee, who talks about this concept of water up fire down. And usually, what we have in our heads is a lot of heat, we have all the stress and the anxiety and the thoughts and the mind chatter and the mental clutter, that all sits in our head. And we have a dungeon, which is two fingers below your belly button, that area of your body, this energy center, that is usually cool, because we have a hot or a warm head and a cool belly. And what he says is that it, it's actually meant to be the inverse, you're meant to have a cool head and a warm belly. So that you can really be operating from your body from your power center, being connected more to yourself, right, and then having a clear head, a cool head, a calm head, to be able to make decisions and move through the world in ways that are not full of stress and anxiety and worry. So it's this concept of water up fire down. And I do Dahn Jon tapping as a way to shift that energy. Especially if I'm feeling a lot of stress or a lot of worry about something, I'll just go tap my belly. You know, if you're familiar with EFT, the emotional freedom technique, I think it's called, you could do other types of Exercise and Movement. I mean, who doesn't usually feel better after a workout, right? Because you're, you're moving through something and shifting your energy. You can also do meditation, if, if you're well practiced in that, for some people starting out with meditation might be hard, because they'll just be sitting there and having more mind chatter. So I personally like the movement activities, because they helped me to just really turn off my brain. If you're standing there for a while tapping your belly, you eventually aren't thinking in your brain because you're focused on your belly and moving that energy. So that's why I really liked the Dahn Jon tapping. But any of these experiences to shift your energy and move you from your head, into your body, because being connected to your body is where you want to create from where you want to take action from. Because it's a place where you can really listen to the deeper parts of you. Anything that's in worry, and negativity and stress and anxiety that's coming from your mind. It's coming from your mind. And if you want to create and shift your life and reach a certain goal and have a certain experience, then it's so much better. I won't say you have to do it this way. But it's so much better. If you do that from a centered, grounded place from being in your body, from being connected to yourself so that you can really listen to what you want, no one else is going to be able to tell you what you want. No one else is going to be able to tell you how exactly to get there, even me on this podcast, I cannot tell you how exactly to get there, I'm giving you a framework that you can explore. And you can play with in a way and see what works for you. For example, Dahn Jon tapping is something that really works for me, it's a simple, easy, very effective way for me to get out of my mind and into my body. But for you it might be something else. So okay, the importance is getting out of your mind and into your body. And then from that place you can create.
Creating a Plan
Alright, so then when we look at the actual, the piece about okay, how are you going to tangibly make this change in your life? Then we can look at a process for that and have it come from that centered, grounded place. So the first thing is looking at, okay, what are all the steps that it's going to take? What are the steps you need to take to reach your goal or to achieve this milestone or get to have a certain experience reach some certain endpoint? First, it's about just writing all those down, brainstorm them, jot them down. It doesn't matter. what order they're in, just write them down. If you think, Oh, well, my goal is so big, and I don't know what I don't know, you can go to Google, you can go to chat GPT or somewhere else and get ideas of what it might look like. Right? When I first started, again, I'll use brief transitions. As an example, when I first started my product business, I have a manufacturing and engineering background, but I didn't necessarily know how to import product, or where to find suppliers. Because I had been working at such a big company, you know, it's very different for a solopreneur. So I had to Google things I had to research, I had to listen to blogs, or find articles or whatever, did I just say, Listen to blogs, I don't know, I had to read blogs, or listen to podcasts, or all of those kinds of things to get information. So don't be afraid to do a little bit of that, just to get an idea of what some of the big milestones are, that you need to, to touch to be able to reach the goal, okay? Then put those steps in order, look at what needs to be done, reorder them, reconfigure them to say, Okay, well, I need to reach out to three suppliers before I can receive the product to test, you know, I need to ask them, what their capabilities are, all of those kinds of things, and you can put them, put them all in order. All right, then, it's about blocking time and working on these steps each day, making time in your schedule to work on this. This can be the trickier part for people because usually, one of the number one things of why something isn't getting done is because you don't have time. I don't have time because I have my job, or I have the kids or I have something else I I completely understand. I completely understand. I had a side business while I had a corporate job. I have two children. I I know what a lot of that is like, even if I don't know your exact situation. And I'm certainly not going to tell you what hustle culture tells us in that you need to wake up at 5am and do XYZ so that you have time, right? I'm not going to do that because I don't wake up at 5am. And I don't believe you have to pressure or shame someone into making the change. If you want to make the change, you're going to make the change, right? You may just need different tools in your toolkit to be able to make the change. So get creative. Look at what are the pockets of time? Where do you have a little bit of extra time in your schedule or flow in your day where, okay, right after school drop off, I have this 20 minute window or lunchtime, my lunch break, I can do some research. And I have 30 minutes, you know, whatever it might look like maybe you work better in the mornings, maybe you work better in the evenings, everyone's environment and productivity levels. And all of those things look different too. But it's important to look at what is best for you. And even if you only have 20 minutes, three days a week, that's okay. Use those 20 minutes, three days a week, that's still an hour that you're spending on something for yourself. And maybe right now you're not spending any time for yourself. So an hour is way better than nothing. Right? So get creative, be honest with yourself. Yes, we can say, you know, block the apps, limit distractions, turn off notifications, all of those things, which I fully support, I don't always do them well, but I fully support him. If you can do that, or putting a timer. Yes, so that you're able to get a little bit of the time back. Because I do think when we use things like timers, we really start to see where the time goes. Okay. But it's really about identifying what you need to do, organizing it, figuring out how you can put it into your schedule, and then and then blocking that time and making it a non negotiable for you. Okay, it's really about the continuous incremental change a little bit goes a long way, as Adrian says on Yoga with Adriene. And it's really about finding your way finding your way to be able to do this. All right. So then, I want you to think a little bit into the mindset of all of this. So you have an idea of what you want to do the direction you want to go right you know that you're you're going to look at your patterns, you're going to see what your mind is telling you you're going to move into your body so that you can create your plan from that center and grounded place.
Staying Where You Are
Then it's about taking a look at what's the price of all this. What's the cost of all this what happens if you don't do these things. Okay, I mean, it's pretty simple. If you don't take action on it, then nothing's going to change, right? You will wake up in a sort of Groundhog Day things are going to stay the same the, your pains that you have now are going to be your same pains, if you're, if you're scattered, if you're overwhelmed, if you're really discontent and unhappy with something in your life, it's going to stay that way. Unless you choose to do something differently unless you choose to show up in a different way. This is not some kind of, I don't know, for lack of a better word, it's not some kind of threat. It's really just part of it. Right? No one can have control of making changes in their lives, if they don't make the changes, right? You can't expect different results from that. So take a look at that and feel into it a little bit to see what's going to happen. You know, how long are you willing to stay in this same situation that you're in right now? Maybe it's something that you haven't reached your breaking point yet with? Okay, which I guess is good in a way. But do you really want to wait to reach your breaking point? I don't know. I wouldn't want to. I learned that the hard way a couple times.
Seeing the Possibilities
Then I want you to take a look at and feel into the possibilities. What happens if you do take action today? What happens if you do decide today is the day that I'm going to identify one goal that I have identify one dream that I have identify one thing that I really want to change in my life. I don't like waking up every morning, disconnected wanting to go back to bed because it's just the same thing over and over and over again. Right? If today is the day that you're deciding to change that, then that's fantastic. What I want you to do is feel into all of the ways that that change is going to support your life. So it might mean that you wake up in the morning feeling really ready to start the day filled with joy and excitement because honestly, what are we doing here? If we don't have joy in our lives? What are we doing here? If we don't look forward to our days, it might sound a little weird. I used to really not feel that most of the time was kind of like, okay, I'm going through the motions of going through the motions. And especially when my kids were really young, it's really easy to feel that way. And I I'm not saying to ignore those feelings. But you know, it is possible to wake up in the morning feeling excited and ready to start the day. So feel into that feel into it. What would it what would it feel like to you to be energized and excited to have time for yourself and your daily practices might look forward to going to work and excited about trying new things or creating new things you might realize and look forward to spending time with family in ways that don't feel draining that you don't feel exhausted, it actually feels fun, right? These kinds of things, a new outlook, a different perspective. That's what we're getting to here, having more ease and flow in your life. So really sit with that and feel into it. You can you can meditate with that you can sit in a in a quiet, calm place and close your eyes. And really visualize what would your day look like in the future? How would you feel how would your body feel this visualizing by the way should be done after you. You go from your mind into your body, right the body exercises, then visualize this and really go inward to see what would this look like. I really do feel that when we visualize things, when we can picture it, when we try to show something different to our minds to reprogram our brain. It goes a long way to making that a reality making it a reality much faster. There's probably lots of studies around all of that. I don't have info on all the studies, but you can probably research it. I think it makes a big difference. Okay, so those are all the steps. That's the framework. That's what we're talking about. Here we're looking at showing up for yourself. Not worrying about what other people think and having an open mind and curiosity about this process. Identify that one big goal that you have or that one experience or that one dream that you really want to see come alive in your life. Look at the reasons that your mind is telling you, you can't have that or you don't have that what are the patterns and the loops that you're in, that you want to break. Learn exercises that get you out of your mind and into your body. So that then you can create a plan and take action from a grounded state, from really connecting more deeper to your creativity. Reflect on what it looks like if you don't take action, and then visualize what your life will look like when you do take action.
Putting It All Together
You'll see really big differences in those last two. All right. I'm so excited. I'm so happy that I got to share this with you, I hope you found it very helpful. If you want more information on it, like I said, I'm doing an email series, so you can check the link in the show notes for that. I am also launching my 16 week group experience coming up. So there's a link in the show notes for that, too. If you want to get on the waitlist, it will be diving deeper into this work. So if this resonates with you, if you like what you heard here, if you're like, Yes, I need to do more of that. And I want accountability around it. I want mentoring, and mentorship, and coaching and all the things, then check out that link to you can go to MaryClavieres.com/program. I'll be updating it with more information as I go. But this is something that I have really used to change my life in so many ways. Again, it might sound I don't know, I guess it could sound cheesy or something. But honestly, I mean, it's such a different perspective. You can move through life in such a different way, with deep gratitude and joy and fulfillment, and alignment and feel like what you're doing. You're making your unique mark on the world because you are showing up as you and it all starts with you connecting more deeply to yourself and identifying what's in you. And chances are again, if you're listening to this podcast, you know there's something there for you. You felt a deeper inner knowing you've, you've heard a voice you've had an experience that has you believe in that you know that there's something more for you that something right now in your life is not working. And it's preventing you from getting to that more to getting to that other thing to getting to that deeper knowing that you know you came here to do or the way you came here to be.
If you feel called, I invite you to join me on this journey. You can learn more at MaryClavieres.com/program. I'll put it all in the show notes. I'm so honored. I'm so honored to be here with you. I'm so excited for you. Wherever life is taking you. I'm excited for you. And thank you so so much for listening. I love you and I'll talk to you next week.
